Being conversational

By Jeff Townsend

I suppose this will come off as nothing but insulting–which maybe it is. However, I’m completely serious when I suggest I’m writing this for your own benefit.


I am an alumnus but still come to campus regularly to volunteer. No longer being a full-time student, hence not being in the "right" mindset, the campus strikes me as being cult-like. From the way people act, right down to U of C "fashions," it makes me wonder what went wrong.


I’ve tried joining clubs in the past and they’re always the same. People show up, they sit quietly in little clusters and seem afraid to converse with people they don’t know. It’s like people want to be outgoing but are afraid to be. Beyond just being shy, there seems to be this strange judgemental view against being outgoing–kind of like cheering at the Saddledome.


But let me get to the real trouble–dating. I’m a very fragile male airhead subject to spontaneously "falling in love at first sight." However, despite having spent many hours over the years at the U of C campus and meeting many girls it has never happened to me here.


Why? I don’t understand why U of C girls are so afraid of men compared to their MRC, SAIT, and out-of-town equivalents. Conversations here are like pulling teeth.


At Bermuda Shorts Day 2002 I tried talking to about a dozen different girls. All of them seemed to think standing there with a big dumb smile saying nothing was a good tactic. It isn’t. No one could give a yes or a no, no one said anything. And BSD merely mirrors what I see every day here.


Every summer, away from campus, I meet people who seem capable of holding conversations. Every summer I get burnt. I meet some girl in passing who blows me away with her outgoing pleasant charm. A girl who seems to understand that my striking up a conversation with her isn’t a marriage proposal or "stalking." A girl who seems to get the concept that a "get-to-know-you" conversation will follow where I’m as likely as her to decide it’s a no-go. Then summer is over, she’s back at her out-of-town locale and I’m stuck at the U of C with all of its strange little unwritten rules.


Yet, while I think this campus is socially stunted and feel a profound regret I spent four years here, rather than wishing to insult I just feel pity for most of you and myself. It’s said you only get what you give, so for those of you interested in improving your social lot, try giving this year. Even if it’s something as simple as responding to someone who’s talking to you.

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