Butter-like rituals

By Kris Kotarski

The Dinos have an ace up their sleeve going into their playoff series against Trinity Western University. Luckily for Calgary, it’s mathematically impossible to split a three game series. The Dinos have home court Thu., Feb. 6 at 7 p.m. and for the next two afternoons at 4 p.m. A series win against the Spartans guarantees a top-four finish in the Canada West Conference and a berth in the national championships.

"First off, we can’t split," said Dinos middle Wes Montgomery when asked what it would take to beat Trinity. "We have to play consistent-serve the ball over the net."

(During last weekend’s match against Winnipeg, Montgomery served the ball into the back of teammate Denis Zhukov, much to the delight of the crowd.)

"We don’t have to do anything special," Montgomery continued. "We just have to play up to what we’re capable of."

In the regular season, the Dinos split their four matches against TWU but finished with a better record of 9–11 to Trinity’s 8–12. The winner of the first round match moves on to play the defending national champion University of Manitoba in the conference semifinal for a chance to play in the Canada West Championship. The winner would earn a better seeding at the national tournament.

So what are the Dinos doing to prepare for their series against Trinity? In a candid night-before-the-game interview Wes offered perspective like only Wes can. During a meeting at an undisclosed campus location Montgomery gave up the goods on the Dinos’ pre-game rituals.

Wes: "I’ll be doing laundry. I like doing laundry."

According to Montgomery, power hitter Kelly Cherniwchan will be "cleaning his washer and dryer and he’ll be grooming himself."

Setter Jon Rowe has a more controversial approach.

"He’s probably out getting hammered," said Wes. "So is Paul Armbruster. He’s at the bar with Rowe, scopin’ out the ladies."

All-Canadian power hitter Denis Zhukov has a different ritual all together.

"Denis is obviously eating butter," said Wes. "He’s dreaming of snow and perogies.

"Cory Paddock?" he continued. "Cory’s in the tank."

Power hitter Andy Holland is getting psyched for the game.

"Andy’s at home getting angry."

Libero Scott Lahey is preparing to play defence like only Lahey can.

"He’s sitting at home right now with his shirt off."

Middle Warren Jarred is "watching Goonies right now and downloading Britney Spears videos off the Internet."

But what’s Scott Thomas doing?

"I don’t know…" said Wes with a confused look. "He’s mentally preparing, I guess."

Backup setter Glen Handley is keeping sharp in case he has to relieve Rowe.

"He’s trying to make Andy [Holland] happy for tomorrow’s match.

"Steve Brand is at the bar with Rowe trying to pick up," continued Wes. "But Jamie Kubik is spending time with his girlfriend."

This pretty much takes care of the whole roster except Eric von Engelbrechten. No one knows where he is. Wes however, knows exactly where Head Coach Greg Ryan is.

"He’s at Future Shop. He likes Future Shop."